Macoy has Tongue Tie??!!!

Time for truth. I have been in excruciating pain and under an extreme amount of stress for two weeks and two days (since Macoy was born) due to breastfeeding. I have considered giving up and switching to bottles every day.

I met with two lactation consultants in the hospital and told every single doctor/nurse (about 12) that checked me and Macoy over the last 2 weeks that something was "off" and that the pain was nearly unbearable. Everyone kept telling me to stick with it but I just knew something was wrong. I have felt so alone. Like I'm screaming in a crowded room and nobody can hear me.

It's really important to me to do right for this baby so I dealt with it - gritting my teeth, clenching my fists and fighting back tears (sometimes just crying) through EVERY single 15-30 minute feeding (8 - 10 times per day). I love my son very much and felt so much heartache because I knew that he could sense my frustration, stress and pain and that it was no doubt having an impact on our mother/son relationship.

Although I have been completely emotionally and physically exhausted (and barely hanging on by a thread), I did 15 or so hours of research over the last week and attended a La Leche League meeting yesterday to try to get some answers. The meeting itself was a useless disaster (that's a blog post all on it's own) but it made me take the final step…calling in a specialist for a home visit.

A lactation consultant came to my house today. She is the third one I have met with but the first at my home. She watched him latch and after less that 2 minutes, she told me to unlatch him. As she put on a glove, she said that although I was doing everything right, he just wasn't latching deeply enough. Without delay, she swiftly swept her finger in Macoy's mouth. She looked at me (3 minutes into our time together) and said…"Well momma...He's tongue tied."  I started crying right away.

The emotion came from two places. One from relief that I finally had my answer and that there was something "broken" that could be "fixed". The other came from my extreme disappointment that I had to endure two weeks of hellish pain for something that could have been fixed on day one of Macoy's life. I can't even tell you how disappointed I am with the doctors, nurses, hospital lactation consultants and all four pediatricians who have examined Macoy multiple times in the last two weeks. My son was NEVER checked for tongue tie despite all my recurring claims of breastfeeding pain. Not one person even brought it up as a possibility. I read about it in my research (causes trouble with feeding and speech impediments later in life) but I passed it by on my hunt for answers because I figured that there was NO way all these "professionals" would have missed this. Well… they did. From my perspective, it's absolutely unacceptable and unforgivable.

I want to post this so all you pregnant gals out there can demand that your baby be checked for this. Do not leave the hospital without this exam. In addition, always trust your instincts and never give up looking for the answers. You will KNOW when something is wrong and even if EVERYONE around you tells you to just stick it out and/or that everything is ok…you WILL know better and it's our job as moms to be our own advocate and seek help for ourselves and/or for our children.

Macoy is now scheduled for a frenulotomy consultation today (to confirm everything and learn what to expect) and for the actual operation early next week which should correct the issues. Although Macoy will experience some pain from the surgery, the first feeding sessions immediately after frenulotomy's are known to be successful and comfortable for both mom and baby. 

...Huge THANK YOU to Rene Moore (www.firstfoodforbaby.com) for doing what you do. This will no doubt change everything for me and my little family. 

A letter to my son on his due date

Macoy,  

Today is the day I have had my eyes set on on all year! I have had it marked on the calendar since early this year, seen it when I closed my eyes each night and worked toward it in preparation for your arrival. Your due date (10/24/13) has arrived! 

I wanted to write you this letter to let you know that you don’t need to be afraid to make your way into this world. Me and your doting daddy are very ready for you and you will surely be the most loved and adored little boy that there ever was. 

I woke up this morning around 6 to your daddy rustling around while getting ready for work. He always makes so much noise in the mornings and rushes around like he's late, even though he's not... at all! I have had the whole week off work so although this earlier than necessary wake up call usually bugs me a bit, I've been enjoying it this week and just getting a kick out of his high-speed morning ritual. In the midst of it all, I was able to stop the whirling dervish for a moment and I told your daddy that he needed to come over and tell his son (that's you) that we are expecting you today and that you better be on time! So, like the amazing man that he is, he stopped what he was doing and he came over to the bed. He got real close to my belly so you could hear him very clearly and he said "you take your time little one and we will be ready for you whenever you are." In this case (just this one), I think your daddy is right, you should just come see us when you are ready. 

Intellectually, I know that only 4% (something like that) of babies are born on their due date but emotionally, I am so beyond excited and ready to have you here with me that I can't help but keep my hopes up for today. Just let it be known that once you are here we are going to work a little bit on punctuality. It is the cheapest of the virtues and will take you farther than most think. ;) 

I'm just eager to hold you, cuddle you, comfort you and love you to pieces. I have so many things planned for us and I can't wait to tell you all about them. When I close my eyes, I can picture all of the simple, wonderful moments ahead. Just the thought of you laying on your daddy's chest while he watches football this season brings a tear to my eye because I know that's exactly what he's been dreaming of for a few years...a son. A baby boy who looks and acts just like him! Oh and I think part of the intrigue is that it increases the man count around here and will help him to outnumber me on any future decision. He's already dictating what we have for dinner based on the "fact" that he knows "his son" likes the same things as him so it just makes sense to have the steak instead of the chicken tonight. ;) I have a feeling the road ahead is filled with more hours of sports on the tv, less girly movies in the theatre and more guy centric vacations that include much more golf and far less visits to the spa. 

You're "almost" here and that's good enough for me because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I strongly believe everything happens for a reason...even if you are a Halloween baby! I just  hope that when you get here...you like the nick-name “Mac”, my singing voice and my friends little girls (being born very soon) since we have already planned your engagement to a few of them. I hope you will be just like your daddy is today and nothing like either of us were as teenagers. I hope that, with our help, you will avoid some of the mistakes we both made along the way. I hope that you will have a sense of humor, strength and confidence that will remind you everyday that you have what it takes. Because, you, my son, will. Though you will surely face your fair share of obstacles and challenges, there is absolutely nothing that you can not accomplish. 

Even if you don't arrive today, it will always be a special day to me. A date that will surely be second to your birthday but never forgotten. Because today, we made it all the way! See you soon little monkey. 

With all my love,

Mommy 

And...he has a name! Macoy Archer Campbell

First off... I know I haven't posted since before Brian and I got married. But, with a baby on the way - I figured it's a great time to pick it back up and start documenting some things in a little more detail. In all honesty, Instagram and Facebook holds all the great photos but this blog might give me a chance to do more storytelling with words so I can look back and remember the details. Everyone (including the ladies in my yoga class) have asked about the details of how we came up with the name for our sweet baby boy who is expected to make his arrival in late October. Let me first say that I am so excited about his name! We decided on it when I was about 23 weeks pregnant but kept it completely secret until I was about 8 months pregnant so that we could announce it by playing a baby name guessing game at my baby showers (one in Utah, one in AZ). Announcing it, after giving about 13 clues to the baby showers guests, was SO much fun and I'm so glad we made a big deal out of it versus just doing a quick Facebook post or something like that. Early on in the pregnancy, Brian said something like "this is a little odd, but I can just see me calling him by a nickname like "mac". I remember thinking that was way random and we spent the next few weeks/months working through about 25 other great names. For the most part, we agreed on names but we just didn't fall in love with any of the ones we were considering (Huxley, Easton) and the ones we liked best were really popular (Hudson, Ryder, Mason) and we didn't want our son to have 3 friends with the same name in school so we squashed those asap. The remainder were just a little too flavorful (Bear, Trigg)! So, we moved on. I pulled out the baby name books one night while cooking dinner together and I reminded Brian that he had said he liked Mac. I told him that I just wanted something a bit unique and that didn't seem to do the trick. But, I told him that I LOVED that "Mac" means "Son" and we could go with an "M" first name and an "A" middle name so that with our "C" last name, his initials would spell MAC and he could call him that! He agreed and we dug into the "M" names! We went from Max to Maxwell to Macks to Mack and then it hit us during a verbal ping pong brainstorm session… Macoy! Starts with "Mac" for Brian and has the uniqueness for me! So, we looked it up but it wasn't in the baby name book. McCoy (the last name) and a few other spelling like Makoi were there though. I told Brian we could put something up in his nautical nursery that says "Ahoy Macoy" and we were both sold. Done deal. Macoy Archer Campbell. Love it! So so so excited to meet this little man.

Campbell Wedding: Venue, Date and Ideas-Part one!

Date: August 6th, 2011! Which means brian and I will celebrate our 7 year anniversary on our honeymoon!

Location: Coronado, California

Venue: I won't say exactly where but it is booked and I will post pics! Hint- it is near water but it's not what you think!

Some of the below is just stuff that caught my eye.

"Will You Marry Me?"

"Of Course!" that's what I said after crying for a solid minute when he asked me. I was so surprised. Seriously. He did it! He managed to side swipe me with it. No hints. Nothing. I always thought I would know days before he would ask because I told myself that he will be nervous and secretive and drop silly hints. Not to mention I figured I would know the moment he said something silly like "Let's go on an air baloon ride" or something equally random and outrageous. That was until last Friday (Yes...we kept it a secret for a few days so that we could tell family in person this weekend instead of over the phone.)

It was a normal week and normal day at work. I came home and as I walked up to the door I noticed a rose attached. As I got closer I saw that there was a custom note behind it. "Have I ever told you that I will ALWAYS love you?" (I thought: How sweet a little love gesture after a long week!) That was until I opened the door and saw dozens of roses and rose petals throughout the house. White rose petals led me to the first arrow made of roses, Beneath each arrow made of roses another note...after a dosen rose arrows and vow type love notes/letters, i reached the last arrow which pointed at the bedroom door. The rose on the door held the last card that said "Because I will."

I opened the door. Brian was standing there all dressed up and spent a few minutes proffesing the reasons he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me..
then he did it!!!!! Bent down on one knee, and opened the ring box. "Kailen Lee Hogan, Will You Marry Me?"

Of course I said Yes! I was so excited I reached out and tried to snatch the ring out of the box (standard for me) so he swatted my hand (standard for him) and explained that I need to be patient while he places it on my finger. Bahahahahaa. Can't tell you how suprised I was. Can't even explain how much I love him.

Let the planning commence!!!!

To us. To 6 years of perfect love. Cheers!

Took a trip to the beautiful, wonderful Sedona for our Anniversary. Celebrated 6 years of bliss with three solid days of wine tastings, hiking explorations, great shopping and breathtaking views from the balcony in our suite. Total relaxation. Just us.

LOVE

Thanks to my talented sister..Brian and I got a few great photos in St.G over Mother's Day weekend!